The sex was clumsy and painful and a couple of times I wondered what the hell I was doing. I want no drama disrupting my family. Coming home the next night was hellish. Similarly, for a man who is not fully sensate, the physiological jolt of adrenaline and orgasm may feel even more profound. That was the last risk I took. We also do a lot as a family, as well as socialising with friends and enjoying a variety of hobbies, so being organised is vital and, like many working mothers, I keep a meticulous diary to make sure everyone is in the right place at the right time. They are also important to me in my nine-year affair with Michael. But despite the blunt belief infidelity is the result of immoral and over-sexed individuals wanting their cake and eating it too, the reality is far more nuanced.
It is no coincidence that infidelity is practically a legacy in some families and it might be worth reflecting on whether your own sexual behaviour might be a case of history repeating itself. They are also important to me in my nine-year affair with Michael. We were like two teenagers, and not in a good way. Who has affairs, and why? We also do a lot as a family, as well as socialising with friends and enjoying a variety of hobbies, so being organised is vital and, like many working mothers, I keep a meticulous diary to make sure everyone is in the right place at the right time. Those low on these measures appear more likely to have an affair. Ultimately, relationships serve the function of meeting our attachment needs of love, comfort and security. No love missives — texts are about the families getting together — and any emails are work related because we work in the same field. In some cases it may be the right decision to end the relationship. But they also report infidelity as one of the most difficult issues to work with when it comes to rebuilding a relationship. It may be so long ago, it is hard to recollect. The problem is that some people choose to seek their relationship needs in the arms of another rather than working on their existing relationship. People need to invest time and energy into their relationships. Is it her, or the illicitness of the situation? We started talking dirty. But despite the blunt belief infidelity is the result of immoral and over-sexed individuals wanting their cake and eating it too, the reality is far more nuanced. There is no doubt that some people are able to compartmentalise sex to a greater degree than others, but the desire to love, and to be loved in return, is such a basic human need that even people with alexithymia an inability to identify, or discern emotion strive to form committed relationships. For instance, infidelity is rarely just about sex. By the time we slept together, we were both in a total state and it was a complete disaster. That is what makes affair sex so much sweeter. When you have affair sex it is like rewinding the clock to a time when sex with your significant other was fun. Then the betrayed partner can be progressively exposed to situations that provide further reassurance they can trust their partner without having to constantly check on them. He had his own worries — it was over far too soon and I felt dissatisfied as well as guilty — and he clearly felt the same. Similarly, for a man who is not fully sensate, the physiological jolt of adrenaline and orgasm may feel even more profound. Why Affair Sex Is So Much Sweeter There are many different reasons why one member of a couple goes outside of their relationship for sex.
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