Since I had this big crush on him, I was down to hang out. I saw him putting on the condom and at that moment felt a million different emotions. I don't even know why I got into the car with him. After this I never talked to that guy again, he was disrespectful and I had a bad time. I could tell right away I did not like them. I often think about it, without regret, because life is short and if I do not have my fun now, I will not have it later. The day we met, I was extremely nervous. Although having sex for the first time is a big milestone in your life, we want to urge you not to stress about it being perfect or feel pressured to do it. Looking back on it, it does seem rather strange, but I do not regret it.
We would like to emphasize the importance of using two forms of contraceptives , ideally a barrier method such as condoms and and a hormonal method such as the birth control pill. There was a lot of pressure to get laid I guess, since everyone was hooking up during the first few weeks. The time came, and the guy pulled up to pick me up and my heart froze. It was kind of obvious he was trying to make a move on me but since I was a virgin at the time and somewhat conservative I dodged him when he tried to kiss me. I asked him if he was planning on drinking, and he said he was tipsy. It was painful and messy and I wanted it to end as soon as it started and he knew that. There are always more sexual experiences going forward. There are resources and hotlines you can reach out to if you have ever been sexually assaulted or raped. I got to his house and figured out that I was really good at mentally checking out. Itching to lose my virginity, I downloaded good-old Grindr and within a few moments, this couple messaged me. I moved my thigh between her legs and she moaned. Then I was on top of her. By the time I got back upstairs, my boyfriend was fully dressed and angry that our first time had been ruined. After a while, moves were made, one thing led to another, we moved into their bedroom, and just like that I was turning in my v-card. It was at that moment we both knew it would happen. He finally showed up, and we awkwardly exchanged small talk. They were on vacation in the states— one was from Canada and the other from France. Overall, it just hurt and he was trying to make me shut up in case his roommates came in. I was 14 and scared and I did not feel ready. We were drinking copious amounts of wine as his mom was relatively young and did not care that we drank. Her bottom lip looked like candy. Now before I get any further I need to disclaim that I am gay. He asked me if I wanted to have sex, and I agreed. Your first time having sex is definitely not your only time having sex, and as you have more sex you will learn what you enjoy and have better experiences. After I felt dirty and weird and to this day I still kind of wish I could go back and undo it but it's okay because I know I'm a stronger person now and won't let anyone have that kind of control over me again.
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