If your girl is barely comfortable with kissing, then you shouldn't bring up the "s-word" for a while. Instead, take it slow, grazing your lips as you touch her hair or stroke her face. Then, go back to your clean apartment, which should be stocked with red wine, grapes, chocolate, and some light jazz on the radio. When she's ready, you will be there. If you're her first boyfriend, if she's sexually inexperienced, or if she's deeply religious or has other moral convictions that make her steadfast about not having sex, then you should back off and wait for her to trust you enough to even consider having sex with you. It may be useful to have a chat beforehand about what she wants to do and what she isn't ready for. Though you and your lady can have fun at baseball games, birthday parties, or at a loud, sweaty concert, these events will be less conducive to lovemaking. This will only show that you care.
Because this will make your girlfriend feel like you like her, but that you're in control of your desires and aren't desperate to get your hands all over her -- even if you are. Don't try making any arguments -- saying things like, "But we've been together for so long," "Everyone else is doing it," or "But I really, really like you," isn't going to make her feel any better. Steps Building Her Trust 1 Be dependable. Instead, take it slow, grazing your lips as you touch her hair or stroke her face. Let's face it -- if you're a male of a certain age who is desperate for his girlfriend to have sex with him, then you probably are obsessed with sex. Just make sure that your actions are reciprocated -- if you're touching her and she just lies there and doesn't make noise or do anything, then you're probably making her uncomfortable. Show up when you say you're going to show up. If you don't stick to your word, she won't be able to trust you. If she's been talking about sex, giving you sexual compliments, and touching you a lot more, then she may be ready for sex. After you do this, sex comes naturally. Pay attention to her eyes, her body language, and her words to know if there's something bothering her. If you're already in the bedroom and hooking up, then you can simply ask her if she's ready to have sex with you. If you want to build the sexual tension, you have to build the romance first. Part 2 Treating Her Well 1 Treat her like a lady. One of her fears may be that as soon as you have sex, she won't be able to rely on you anymore because you would have gotten what you wanted. It's important to be a gentleman, but don't do anything that feels too unnatural to you, or she'll be able to tell that you're not being yourself. If she changes her mind from yes to no, or asks you to stop during the act, do so immediately. Part 3 Turning Her On 1 Be prepared. There's a difference between being loyal and being possessive and smothering your girlfriend with affection. To do this, you have to be a gentleman and be courteous, kind, understanding, and generally admirable. If your girl is barely comfortable with kissing, then you shouldn't bring up the "s-word" for a while. Instead, you should kiss your girlfriend for a few seconds, then hold back, stroke her, and talk to her. So, prove her wrong by being an upstanding and dependable guy. If you say you're going to take her to the beach over the weekend, do it. Ask her what she thinks about the current political situation in your state, or about the look of your new outfit. This will only show that you care. If you really want to make your girlfriend want you, then you shouldn't act like a sexual beast, moving rapidly from kissing to touching, to ripping off your clothes and practically levitating into the bedroom.
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