I have always wanted the best for you. Our relationship ended not because you were trans, but because as you explored this new side of yourself, it felt as if the only person who mattered to you was you. He holds me when I cry. To this day, my favorite thing is falling asleep on his shoulder in front of the TV at night. But there are so many things I love about Randi the woman. I understand the impulse. I worry that no one is telling you the truth, now. Eventually, you stopped telling me things, and let me find out by accident; your lies of omission hurt me deeply.
Nor does it make them a bad one. Our relationship ended not because you were trans, but because as you explored this new side of yourself, it felt as if the only person who mattered to you was you. I chose to stay. But the more they told you exactly what you wanted to hear, the starker the comparison with me. I chose to stay because Simon is brave, kind, honest and loving ways in ways that Amy could never quite muster up the openness, the transparency, to be. I have heard firsthand too many heartbreaking stories of parents banishing their transgender children, wives not only leaving their husbands but breaking off all contact and fighting for sole custody of the children, adult children turning their backs on their transgender parents, and employers firing trans workers. Once I started learning what transgenderism was, what it really meant, what Randi was going through, there was no way at that moment that I could leave that relationship and leave Randi. Every day he makes me laugh. You told me you spent years trying to deny the truth to yourself. Not only that, but I am having a difficult time dealing with all of this as well. I understand the impulse. We are only able to reply to those whose contributions we are going to use Topics. But there are so many things I love about Randi the woman. I choose to stay. We have always been there for each other. Please include your address and phone number. I have always wanted the best for you. I believe him when he tells me hurting me like this is heartbreaking for him. Would I really leave the person I love? I asked for time, and you refused. I hope you learn to communicate, compromise and be more compassionate in your next relationship and in general. I hope you are sorry that you hurt me; I hope that, with time and distance, you will see I tried my best. To this day, my favorite thing is falling asleep on his shoulder in front of the TV at night. It felt like a battlefield: I hope someone in your life is not treating you like a fragile bauble, and is willing to call you on your actions; trans or cis, we all need someone to do that.
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